The Real Love!

When you are aware, you are not in need of love. When you are not in need of love, you become capable of love. This is the paradox. When you are in need you are not capable. And in this sleepy state, full of needs and desires, you go on stumbling.

It is on the same lines as banks function. If you go to a bank and you need money, they will not give you any. If you don't need money, you have enough, they will come to you and they will always be ready to give you. When you don't need, they are ready to give you; when you need, they are not ready to give you.

Let me tell you one anecdote:


Two very proper English gentlemen were drunk in the pubs looking for women. They finally got lucky and were about to bed with their respective finds. As they were lurching their way through the crowded London streets, one turned to the other and said, "Look here, old man, do you mind switching bitches?"
"No, I don't mind old thing, but can you tell a fellow why?" "Well," slobbered the first, "don't you know, between the grog and the fog and the smog, I seem to have picked up my old auntie!"

In the darkness of desire, in the madness of passion, between the grog and the fog and the smog, don't be too worried whether the other's love is real or not. Right now, as you are, the real cannot happen to you. The real happens only to real persons. Gurdjieff used to say: "Don't seek reality -- become real!"

"The Real happens to Real Persons only. To Unreal Persons only the Unreal happens."




Source: A Sudden Clash of Thunder: Osho

Do you love yourself?

Do you love yourself? You have not even asked the question. People hate themselves.

People condemn themselves -- they go on condemning; they go on thinking that they are

rotten. How can the other love you? such a rotten person. No, nobody can love you really.

The other must be befooling, cheating; there must be some other reason. She must be

after something else; he must be after something else.

I have heard:

A dirty, smelly, filthy-looking old Jewish bum, sat down on a park bench next to a sweet

young girl. The girl took one look at the bum and looked away in revulsion. Pretty soon

she heard a noise and turned her head to see what was happening. She watched in horror

as the Jewish bum took a sandwich from a brown bag and took a big bite of it. The meat

was rancid, the lettuce was brown, and the bread mouldy.

Sensing the girl's eyes on him, the Jewish bum turned towards her and said, "Pardon me,

miss, would you like a bite of my sandwich? I suppose to make love would be out of the question."

This is what goes on happening. You know about yourself -- love seems to be out of the

question. You know your rottenness, worthlessness -- love seems to be out of the

question. And when some woman comes and says she adores you, you cannot trust.

When you go to a woman and you say you adore her, and she hates herself, how can she

believe you? It is self-hatred that is creating the anxiety.

There is no way to be certain about the other -- first be certain about yourself. And a

person who is certain about himself is certain about the whole world. A certainty

achieved at your innermost core becomes a certainty about everything that you do and

everything that happens to you. Settled, centered, grounded, in yourself, you never worry

about such things. You accept.! 

If somebody loves you, you accept it because you love yourself. You are happy with

yourself; somebody else is happy -- good! It does not get in your head; it does not make

you madly egoistic. You simply enjoy yourself; somebody else also finds you enjoyable -

- good!

Source:  A Sudden Clash of Thunder: Osho